Demanding respect

Growing up in asia, we've been taught that being successful is having money, career, marriage and kids. For women, being successful is be able to get married with a man who is successful. Hence, we see many women get marry at such young age. Many don't even know what they've gotten themselve into. Many don't even know the type of men they are marrying to.

I know someone who know someone who has been married for more than 10 years. After a failed business, he started to drink and almost every night, beat his wife half to death. And to my amazement, she is still with him. Reason, the children need their father. Not to be so harsh, but do you really think that the children need that type of home? Abusive and unhappy home. Wouldn't they be better off living with one happy parent instead? From what I've gathered, the man was not such a good man to start with. So, why did the woman agree to marry him in the first place?Is love really that blind?

My first relationship, which I knew was doomed from the start, lasted for almost 4 years. The last 3 years were long distance, so probably I would say it lasted for almost 2 years. He was typically chinese. The happiest day of my life was when I broke up with him. I feel liberated. I feel free. I changed my phone number, my attitude and my life. I promise myself I will not fall into that relationship ever again. So far, I have kept my promise.

Dating with foreigner really open up my mind. The way they treat women is totally different from the way I've been treated in my previous relationship. They treated women with respect. They value intelligence. They value opinion. They set the bar so high that I don't know if the locals can live up to. They make me feel that I should be treated this way, nothing less.

My dating life really worries my neighbour. She always dropping hints that I should find a chinese guy. This coming from a woman, just on previous day, complained about her husband the same thing I've been complaining about chinese guys.

I'm not saying all chinese guys are the same. Just majority of them are. If you find such guy, then congratulation, you've hit the jackpot. The point is, we chinese girls are too contented just to have a guy in our lives. We would settle for anyone just so that we would not be single. Believe me, I've seen many women stay in a bad relationship, just because they don't want to be single.

We should demand respect from them. Let them know that we are worth more than a maid who cook and clean for you. Let them know that if you don't treat us right, we dare to pick up our bags and leave.