This is my first blog. I thought it would be a good idea to talk about, well, about me. My neighbour's daughter, Min, who I've befriended for the past 10 years, has recently become very close with me. She said something that send a light-bulb over my head. She said, "We've been neighbour for more than 10 years now, I thought you were an innocent girl but tonight you prove to me that I might not know you that well". She was talking about the night we went clubbing with my other friend (Cat) and she too said the same thing. You see, I always have an image that I portrayed in front of people that I'm not familiar with. First impression people have on me is that I'm a girl-next-door type. But am I really?

I go out clubbing, although it's not so often ( probably once in two months ) and come back at 4am, but does this make me a bad girl? I did some things while clubbing that I won't be normally do when I'm sober ( not that I drunk during those time ) but does this make me a slut? Dancing with a guy closely for more than an hour, does it mean I want to have sex with him. Are girls really that easy? What happen to dinner and movies? Maybe I'm too traditional ( if you ever believe that...LOL )

I've dated a lot of guys, dinners and movies, the whole she-bang. It's not like I don't want to find a steady one, it's just I have not find anyone to be steady with. Most of the dates I've been with, are usually one-time date, but does this count as one night stand? Some people think it does...but I beg to differ. And this thing called Fuck Buddies...WTF is that anyway. I think it's a term created by the opposite sex to fuck around without having any accountabilities or string attached. Some girls even fall for that crap.

I don't usually date chinese guys. Does that make me a racist? Some might say that I'm a betrayal to my race ( well, I might be over dramatic here ). But is it my fault that I feel that I'm more compatible to other races than to chinese guys. It's not like I go out and targeted those people. In these 3 years of liberation ( from my first bf ), I only find one chinese guys that is compatible with me and he's not actually 100% chinese produce ( studied in America for 4 years ). I've given the chinese guys chances but everytime they blew it, with their childish behaviours and demands. Are chinese girls really that childish too? Well, I won't go too much on this subject.

I watch porn. Don't be surprised by this. Yes, girls do watch porn. But I won't say that I'm addicted to it. And don't give me those I'm-holier-than-you crap. At least I'm honest by admitting it and all my friends might read it ( crap! what have I done?! ). By watching porn, does this make me sluttier? Does this make me a sex maniac? What's wrong with watching it to learn and improve my techniques and that some day I might want to try it with my life partner ( if I ever find one ).

So, am I nice or naughty? Which am I? Some might say I'm hypocrite, just because I don't portray my real self to people. But I think, I'm a chameleon. I can blend in any environment. But this might also means that I don't have a real self. Someone told me that I don't have a 'real' personality and that I 'mirror' others personality. But isn't a 'mirror' personality is a form of personality too? Maybe I do, maybe I don't have a personality. But the truth is, I know what's right and wrong for me. I know what I am and what I'm not. Period.